I am your _____ and living in the late 20th century here in ____, ____.

I am sitting in front of a microfilm projector (I'll explain what that is in a later email) in a special library run by the LDS (nice people, but more later on them, too) trying to decipher the small and shaky handwriting of your parish's minister/vicar/ curate (choose one). He must have been either vertically challenged or had palsy - because it's unreadable! At least I think it's your parish! I'm not even sure of the decade. Thanks for leaving such a good paper trail! (Sarcasm intended.)

According to family legend, you and your wife _____  had ___ children, some of whom lived beyond infancy.  Yet not a single one was recorded in the parish records!  I can't even find your marriage certificate. You two WERE  married, right? Didn't you know that there would be legions  of people like me fanatically spending their waking hours and small fortunes looking for any and all traces of your lives? Were you just stubborn, couldn't afford the fees,or not members of the Established (or any) Church? You're wondering, "What's all the fuss, we're dead as door nails?" We're not sure, but I think down here we're infected with the same disease: Rootsus obsessionus. Of course, WE are going to leave better records for our descendants! (sure we will. HA!) Anyway, I'm glad I was able to vent my frustrations upward. If I couldn't do that, I'd have probably popped the obnoxious researcher next to me who is right now translating an old parish record  in German - and out loud, for heaven's. (oops!)

I have an idea.... When I'm "dead-on" (pardon the expression) to finding the correct record, give me some sort of sign. Make the projector bulb flicker twice. Or, if it must be done in the privacy of my home, I have a Labrador Retriever. Talk through her. That will get my attention for sure.

Thanks for listening. I'll be better in the morning.....I'll be back at the library tomorrow night for Round 14, so catch me there.